I shared a picture with my twitter family of a very unexpected bouquet of flowers that I'd recently received. The flowers came on a day where both BPD and Depression were trying to take over. Additionally, I'd had a long day with a difficult and annoying individual!! For sure, I was looking for the Calgon to completely take me away. To my surprise, when I arrived home there was the most beautiful bouquet of flowers that I'd ever seen before. The card attached said "Hope these help to brighten up your day." My eyes lit up before they filled with tears. I was so overwhelmed and touched that someone thought enough of me, to even want to brighten my day. Funny thing is....it worked. My mood changed instantly. For some reason, I couldn't fathom that someone could actually believe in me! or that I made a difference in the life of someone. There we go with the BPD traits again, this time in particular the one involving identity. People that live with BPD often present identity disturbances which includes an unstable self-image or sense of self.
Today, I received the most encouraging email from a person that I least expected. I'm going to share the email in it's entirety...minus the name of the person that sent it. You'd have to know the person to understand the "drinking" humor, but that's what it is. The sincerity made me cry and the humor made me laugh. Either way...the encouragement made my heart smile, lifted my spirits and brightened my day.
Hi,
I am so sorry that you are going through some rough times right now. I know how hard things can be and how dreadful the future can seem. But once you hit bottom, there is only one direction to go, and that's up. Recognizing you have a problem is half the battle; concentrating on getting healthy is easier once you know what demons you are trying to conquer.
You are blessed, my dear with lots of positive attributes. You are very strong, have lots of close friends and are one of the most determined people I know. I didn't say stubborn, did I? Believe it or not, once you are on the other side of this, you will be an even stronger person. Sure, life has its way of throwing lots of nasty things at us but as is said very often, the Big Guy (or Gal) upstairs never gives us more than we can handle. And you are handling this with the dignity and determination that defines you.
Here's what I would suggest-
Concentrate on the bright side-there is always a bright side.
Find your way around this-when a door is closed in your face, look for the window
Stay busy and keep your mind active. Allowing yourself to wallow in the darkness is not recommended.
Remember that you are not alone. No one is spared from the shit we all have to deal with.
Drink heavily
And most important-keep perspective and smile a lot (the drinking will help that).
You'll be fine & I'm not at all worried about you.
Be happy.
Your friend,
Xoxoxoxo
After reading that email, I received a call from my GodFather who was unaware of what has been going on in my life. You see, I wear that #BPD mask pretty well. Most people only see what I portray. I'm good at smiling on the outside while dying on the inside. He insisted that God put me on his heart and in his spirit---and he wouldn't hang up before I shared what was wrong. Before I knew it I broke down crying while trying to explain....all of the hurt and pain that I had been harboring poured out of me. When I got done I was empty...and that emptiness provided space for him to pour/speak life into my lifeless spirit!!! He assured me that he cared about me as well encouraged me immensely Because of who he is, however, he was the LAST person I'd expected to receive a call from.
I can't forget my biggest twitter cheerleader
@messyartoflvng. No matter what she's going through in her own life...she takes the time to lift me up and encourage me DAILY! It's so beneficial to have support and encouragement from others that can relate to what you're going through. Sometimes, all it takes is a simple tweet to change someones day...and more times than not, those tweets that change my day come from her! I'm so grateful that our paths crossed, and again...encouragement and motivation coming in the least expected form.
Encouragement doesn't take any special talent! Everyone can do it. Encouragement brings hope, healing and comfort to those that are downtrodden and experiencing the rough roads of "life". God has a way of sending the right people...at the right time. He gives us everything we need! Be open to receive what God has provided! It may not come in the package or the person you expected it from. All the encouragement and motivation that I've referenced has come in the least expected forms and from the people that I least expected it to come from.....I thank God that he placed me on their hearts. He continues to work things out for my good! Their encouragement has given me HOPE and therefore I'll continue to accept the unexpected!!!
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