I must be honest...I completely struggled through Thanksgiving Day, but I MADE IT! I'm still here! One of my family members was in town visiting for the holiday, and I decided to pay a visit since it had been some time since I'd seen them. I was actually kind of excited about just getting a chance to see them and hugging their neck~~ genuine hugs can sometimes make all your problems seem to disappear! I was indeed a little anxious, family relations over the past few months have been strained to say the least, but nevertheless, I headed out, eagerly anticipating the show of love and brief fellowship that was about to commence. I arrived with a small token, and a smile on my face! It made my heart smile that my family members were just as happy to see me as I was to see them. I seemingly had been anxious for NOTHING. But, In the midst of our laughing and joking...the conversation took a QUICK turn to something more serious. Mental Health.
I was informed that another family member (one that I loved dearly) had been telling everyone that I was bi-polar, that I had 10 personalities, that I was "crazy", and that I'd taken to Facebook to speak ill of them publicly. YES, tears instantly welled up in my eyes...my heart and spirit were INSTANTLY pierced. How could the ONE person I'd thought the world of: trash my name...throw me under the bus...spread lies...spew ignorance??? The people that I speak to the least seem to ALWAYS be those that have the MOST to say about me. This family member was invited to attend family counseling with me, invited to visit me during my inpatient stay to speak with my mental health team (Psychiatrist and Psychologist) and they didn't show up. Yet, they were very verbal about what they THOUGHT they knew about my mental health history. Fact is, I was initially MISDIAGNOSED with Bipolar Disorder. MANY other people (40%) that have BPD have also been inaccurately diagnosed with Bipolar initially. You can read the NIH study here if you are so inclined. BPD Misdiagnosed as Bipolar.
Lies aside (which they ARE). SUPPOSE I did have Bipolar. Suppose I was crazy. Suppose I did have 10 personalities. Does that make me unworthy of love and respect? I'm STILL a part of your FAMILY. You don't discard people you claimed to love just 2 weeks ago. Where I come from, family is supposed to love unconditionally. They cover and correct with LOVE. They restore. They don't condemn. They don't judge. They don't tear down. They don't abandon you. They don't kick you while you're down. They don't invalidate. They stick with you through the tough times. They support. They encourage. They educate themselves so that they don't add to the SHAME and STIGMA associated with mental illness. I'd always heard that family could hurt you the worst, but I'd never personally experienced that...until now.
Through this experience, I've learned that...
- Indeed, those you love the most, can hurt you the worst---and family is NOT exempt.
- My family members are souls on a journey struggling through their life lessons just as I am. (Iyanla)
- Blood is thicker than water is true in science, not life.
- Sometimes, even family are waiting for you to fall, instead of helping you out.
- People often speak about what they don't know. Knowledge really is power. Lack of is ignorance.
- People are quick to share your flaws, but don't acknowledge their own.
- Just because I'm able to OWN my faults, issues & mistakes...everyone isn't capable of doing the same.
- Hurting people really do hurt people.
- The WHOLE story is always better than a partial story, and it's only fair for all.
I'm glad with each life experience I am able to learn lessons. From now on, I'm making it a personal goal to not allow ANYONE'S ignorance, hate, drama or negativity stop me from being the BEST person I can be!!!!
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