Free To Be Me!

The new year has been absolutely WONDERFUL to me.  I've grown and learned so much over the last six months...not just about myself, but about LIFE.  I've spent an enormous amount of time in therapy, in Al-Anon, in DBT, in church, in life coaching sessions.....not just figuring out where and why my life went wrong---but fixing and healing those areas that needed it.  I had to go BACK to where I got OFF track in order to get back on the right track!!  The journey hasn't been easy, but the wisdom from my pain has been the most rewarding thing on Earth!

First up was learning to love myself.  Easier said than done...but as I told my friend Owetta last week it has taken me 37 years to FINALLY get it right.  Now that I've gotten it right, it's truly the most AMAZING feeling ever.  How could I have survived this long...not TRULY loving ME?  I mean....loving ALL of me.  My good AND my bad....my positives AND my negatives...my ups AND my downs...my strengths AND my weaknesses....my past AND my future. The Bible says ALL things work together for the good of them that love the Lord.  ALL things are inclusive of my mistakes, my mess-ups, insecurities, my screw-ups, my bad behavior, they are WORKING for my GOOD!!

 As I began to learn to love me...it free'd me to BE myself.  No longer did I need to pretend to be something or someone that I was not.  No longer did I need to beg and steal love from others that weren't willing to give it to me freely.  No longer did I need to lie about who I was to ENSURE that someone loved me.  As I began to love me, it opened up the path for me to be loved by others! *giggles*

Do I still stumble with the self-love from time to time? SURE I do.  I've gone 37 years without it, and it's not gonna correct itself over night.  One thing is for sure though---I've worked HARD at achieving that goal!!  For everyone that knows me....I'm an overachiever.  I get DONE what I set my mind to do!!

Bottom line is....I love ME.  The REAL me.  The TRUE me.....and I can care LESS who doesn't.