Beating the odds...Time for vacation!

You all know, these last six months have easily been the WORST six months of my entire life!!!  I've never experienced anything like the nightmare I've survived.  I lost MYSELF, betrayed my heart, and told lies to avoid losing the love of someone who didn't really love me like I thought they did.  I lost my dignity.  I lost friends and family.  I lost my MIND when a mental health crisis crashed my world!  TW:  Attempted suicide.  Battled an eating disorder. (End TW) Was diagnosed with depression and BPD.....ALL within six months.  I'm STILL here though...beating ALL odds that were set against me!

Recovery is HARD, but it's possible.  I've been putting in MAJOR work!!  Therapy session after therapy session.  DBT session after DBT session.  Al-anon meeting after Al-anon meeting.  Calls and meetings with my sponsor even when I didn't feel like it.  Keeping my appointments with my nutritionist and sticking to a plan EVEN when eating was the LAST thing on my mind.  Life Coaching sessions even when my LIFE felt hopeless.  Taking and tweaking medicine regimens even when the meds were making me sick.  Not to mention more inpatient stays than I ever care to remember...all in the name of trying to be the BEST ME I can be.

Have I stumbled?  Yes.  Have I sometimes regressed?  Yes.  Have I allowed people and things to make me spiral backwards?  Yep.  I'm STILL human.  I have feelings. I experience intense emotions.  YET. STILL. I. RISE.   Each time I bounce back quicker than the time before.  I have BPD, but BPD doesn't have ME!!!

Today, I'm leaving for a tropical vacation!!!!  After the whirlwind of the last six months, I DESERVE a vacation!!  Not a vacation from recovery, because I've learned to NEVER take a day off from making life better for myself.  I'm simply changing scenery.  This week I'll spend time working on "me" from a beach!  I have my reading material packed...and I'll read from the pool.  Guided Meditation downloaded....I'll find a quiet spot on the beach in the early or late morning hours.  I've scheduled to attend electronic Al-Anon sessions while I'm gone, and YES...my sponsor will be checking to make sure!  Meds are packed.  I'm ready!  I may not blog again this week, but I'll be sure to share some wonderful photo's with you when I return.

Nietzsche said..."That which does not kill us makes us stronger".  One of my twitter followers took it a step further and said that wound that you experienced wasn't a death sentence, but a LIFE sentence.  Embrace the healing and start living!!! So with that, I affirm today that I am ALREADY healed, happy, loving, wealthy, successful, confident, physically and emotionally well!!