Holiday Blues...

I guess there could be any number of reasons that I've been overly emotional for the past few weeks.   Maybe it's because I finally realize how broken I really am.  How much my heart aches, how much pain and hurt is present in my heart...and how far I'm away from healing. Total Brokenness.
Maybe it's because my past and the people in it are constantly being brought to my attention. 
Maybe it's because I experience periods of loneliness. People have removed themselves and I've completely detached (with love) from the codependent relationships in my life.  That makes four fewer people in my life than this time last year, and for the most part---these people constituted my entire support system.
Maybe it's the strained relationships that I have with multiple family members and our inability to overcome disagreements.
Maybe it's the upcoming holiday season...it is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, right?  Well for me its not.  I seriously wish I could hibernate through Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's only to wake up on January 1, 2013.  Ideally, I'd wake up to the realization that what I've been living these last few years, was nothing more than a nightmare; a really bad dream.
Maybe facing the reality of that not happening has me emotional.

Maybe it's just a combination of it all.  Looking into the kaleidoscope of my life, nothing is quite coming into focus.  All I know is that I've been an emotional wreck...crying at the drop of a dime.

Am I headed into another depressive episode?  Not exactly.  What's different now (than say a year ago), is that I'm able to recognize my symptoms, and this sometimes enables me to prevent a complete downward spiral.  During this valley experience, I've become very in tuned to myself.  I notice the most subtle changes in my emotions.  I'm now completely aware of my triggers and I'm constantly tweaking my action plan on how to deal better with them when they arise. 

So how do I avoid a depressive episode when I do notice the changes in my emotions??

1.  I treat myself gently with kindness and forgiveness.  I do NOT beat up on myself for feeling the way I feel. 

2.  I force myself to get out of the bed after I've slept for 8 hours....and I try to do at least 20 minutes of activity daily. (Preferably outdoors)

3.  I listen to relaxation sounds almost 24/7.  This is new for me, but it has helped SO much!!  The sounds of a calming soft stream...or gentle rainfall plays constantly---even through the night.

4.  I burn SAGE!!

5.  I use Rose, Jasmine and Bergamot oils as aromatherapy...usually in my bath.  Sometimes, I put a few drops of the oil on an old cloth and inhale the scent a few times a day.

6.  I try to make sure I eat and hydrate properly...and I indulge in LOTS of white tea (Teavana's Golden Mojito)!  I'm extra careful to take ALL prescribed medication AS prescribed.

7.  I try to steer clear of anything that could potentially kill my spirit.  Only you know what those things are in your life....but for me, it's subliminal messages from people that are angry with me--- by way of blogs, tweets, facebook, instagram, etc.

8.  I  speak openly in my support group.  Al-Anon has been a LIFESAVER. (Point blank, period) 

9.  I meditate-twice a day.

10.  I try to indulge in those things that I enjoy. 


While it's not always possible to prevent a depressive episode...these are things that I've done to minimize its effects.  Find out what works for you, and share them with others that may be dealing with the same thing.